Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
