just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
