i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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