I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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