I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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