I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
