you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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