you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
