Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize