I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
