You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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