i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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