I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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