mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize