He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
sex in a hospital.. check
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
