You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
