I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
