he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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