I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
