3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
