I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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