Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
