so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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