i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
