dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize