I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Come see our sink grown plant.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize