chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize