I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize