Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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