the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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