Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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