I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
