break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
