yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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