Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
