eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
