he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
