What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
