I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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