why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
