where does the pee come out of this thing
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
