i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
