You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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