ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
