She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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