I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
