remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
