I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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