i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just found puke in my bra..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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