Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
a search helicopter?!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize