well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
