My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
