***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
