How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
