dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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