is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Randomize