I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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