there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You took a bar mat shot.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
