This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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