my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize