Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
