I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just threw up on my dentist
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize