i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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