How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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