Ambien. No doubt about it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
