New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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