I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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