Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
