I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
