I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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