I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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