i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
