soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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