You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
