If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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