if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
