am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
