just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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