I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
