Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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