is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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