Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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